Eye Spy

Emory isn't exactly your red carpet, Hollywood runway. We have no paparazzi, no gorgeous celebs, as they say, and no formal recognition, unless you count our Department of War making the Daily Show. At any rate, the celebrity status of Emory is what we call static, rather absent.

All this changed, however, on January 26, 2006. Returning from Organic Chemistry Lab (that's as glorious as Emory gets), I ambled down the hallway to exit the Chemistry building from the second floor. I followed the curving sidewalk, slowing before each set of five or so steps. The hill curved down to my dorm, and standing out in front of my dorm was a familiar man holding a camera. The man stooped low holding a camera. He looked as if he was taking pictures or looking for angles at which to photograph the surroundings. The man's tall figure emerged after he finished squating on the ground. I continued to make my way down the sidewalk. The man moved from the sidewalk to the street, heading my direction. He paused here and there to look around. He was concentrating. He continued his consternation coming up to the green lawn next to the sidewalk, and I immediately recognized him as Sean Penn.

That's right Sean Penn. He had a rough but confident look to him, holding his cigarette at his side. We passed one another on the sidewalk, my quick glance of recognition the only communication between us. I said in my head, "Wow, Sean Penn." I walked off coolly, not understanding the immensity or importance of this meeting (according to Katie). Nonetheless, I was the only witness outside when Sean Penn strolled about Emory's campus.

The reason for Sean Penn's visit to Emory has been a mystery for over a week now. Private detectives Krumholtz and Talley have fully investigated the matter and concluded the following.
1. Penn was here on business.
2. Penn is directing a new film, Into the Wild (based on the novel)
3. The main character of said book went to Emory but left to defend an ideal...he died in Alaska months later.
4. Christopher McCandless may have lived in Gil/Thom or Penn was simply looking at Emory's campus for ideas/footage possibilites.

The following was deduce by Krumholtz and Saden and have no influence on real life:
1. Into the Wild was read in Brent's Comparative Literature class. Brent is the black sheep of the Comp. Lit. Department.
2. Judavitz is crazy. She is the head of the Comp. Lit Department. She loves Seth as well as any student who's remotely interested in the department.
3. Seth is the golden child of the Comp. Lit. Department. Simultaneously, he is Peter Pan, who will "never, never...grow up, never."
4. People can be classified into era's and characterized as certain personas with said time period. These characterizations are entirely fictional but represent the person's life fully. There's no denying them.
5. Facts 1-3, or solely fact 4 could be crafted into a reality television show that would be nothing short of supreme enjoyment.