Get the Feeling

Man, it feels weird. It's like a small drum is beating on my temple. My insides are twisted and tangled like Christmas lights in the attic, and my skin crawls because this 72 degree room somehow feels cold. Disaster has reared it's ugly head and brought its lousy companions misery and doubt for a visit.

The MCAT is less than a week away, and the only thing on my mind is doubt. I doubt my ability to lead, my abilility to think, my ability to perform. One hell of an affliction to have just six days before what I perceive as my one and only shot at medical school. It's like a free throw but from half court, and my parents and friends watch eagerly in the stands holding their breaths as the ball soars through the air. The ball just hangs midair, and I'll wait (with them) for the day when I'll look apprehensively at a white packet, finally open the damn thing, and glance my MCAT score. It plagues me, destroys the workings of mind and at times the three years I've spent building up to this point.

Funny thing, I haven't had the nerve to post this prior to the MCAT. You have to appear confident, solid at all times. Everyone is watching. So I've had this internal debate of whether or not to make this post, and I resolved that if anything, we can all recognize and realize we are just simply human. We are broken pieces of imperfection striving for our own best work, and we can only support one another along the way.